"Unsafe" Technical Review & Recap!
Written by Tigress35

Open on a sweeping shot of the Talon and Clark studying. The Talon seems busier than usual. Two girls approach Clark. We learn that, despite all the "Spell" horrors, Clark landed himself a Met U football scholarship. When asked why he has to bother studying now, Clark says, matter of factly, "But they're still going to be looking at my final GPA." Ha! Good excuse to avoid the girls Clark. Cuz really? They won't unless Clark gets injured. And we know that's not happening. The girls try and convince our hopeless alien to come party with them, not knowing that he's either gay or socially retarded, depending on your fav Clark interpretation, and let him know there's a hot tub. Clark looks like he had a brief moment of mental imagery, but this doesn't last long.

Maybe the reason he didn't accept is because it turns out his mom is right behind him at the counter. Wow. Seth Cohen would definitely say that she was salting his game. Clark laments about his everlasting loneliness and all the lies he has to spin, while at the same time not getting blinded by his mom's bright red lipstick. Clark says a girl would "have to be crazy to get into a relationship" with him.

And... cut to Belle Reve hallways. Ha! Brilliant. The previous scene establishes that yes, our favorite little alien is still looking for a girlfriend that he can tell his secrets to and be himself. It's a quick reminder about what's most important to him-- not any random hookup at a party, but someone who understands him. We previously learned this in "Obsession" with Alicia... and guess who happens to be in Belle Reve now? Alicia!

Some doctors walk down a hallway, and we can figure out pretty quickly by the shots used to introduce them that they're not really to be trusted... the lighting is dark and has hints of blue, we only see their footsteps at first, making us curious about who they are, and this angle is particularly ominous. It makes them look huge in the frame and makes us feel like we're only 2 feet tall and helpless.



Yay Alicia!! My favorite guest star of all time is back!

How anyone can make a recovery in a dark room with a spotlight hanging over their head is beyond me. That doesn't exactly scream healthy atmosphere to me. But this is Smallville, and it looks damn cool besides.



Next scene: Clark is apparently returning home from the Talon, still brooding and with all his books. There's an insert shot of a pen he's holding, but I can't really figure out what's so important about that pen that'd we'd need a close-up on it.

Anyway, the next shot where Alicia steps up into the loft behind is definitely important... the composition is very unusual, and a similar one comes up later, and I'll do a comparison analysis of it then.

The music is wicked creepy. No, this is not a joyous reunion... especially as Clark reminds her that he couldn't forget her, not after she'd almost killed him and Lana. Except... that happens every episode, so she must indeed be special. You stick out above the rest in your murderous habits, Alicia! Congrats! Or maybe it was because you snuck into his bedroom half-naked and gave him something to brag about with Lex and Pete. Either one.

Clark is understandably a bit upset about the unannounced appearance, not caring whether she drove or teleported, escaped or was released. Turns out she has the ugliest bracelet ever to keep her sane and "grounded." Apparently it releases lead into her blood-- even though it's just around her wrist with no apparent connection to her bloodstream. And, besides, have they studied the longterm effects of that? Lead poisoning anyone? But she's special and this is Smallville, so it's fine

Apologies and mistrust are tension in the air, and then Alicia asks him why he's alone on Saturday night. Clark looks hurt and is all, 'Thanks for reminding me, bitch.' No, actually he says, "Maybe I prefer to be alone." Classic comeback that nobody believes. Alicia reminds him he knows her secret, but assures him she hasn't told anyone. And? She gave him hope.

Then she leaves, and Clark looks sad.

Cut to the cheery Kent kitchen, where Mama's pouring orange juice. Clark is telling them about Alicia's return and they remind him that teleporting wasn't the only thing that made her dangerous, it was because she "was obsessed" with him. And, well, can you blame her? Kents try and convince him that Alicia is not The One.

Clark decides to go to Chloe for info, who finds it naturally. Records say Alicia is cured. Well, if the records say it, it must be true! Clark turns around and grins at Chloe, who grins back. With all the Chloe/Clark undertones this season, I can't figure out why Chloe is so seemingly genuinely happy that Clark is happy. That doesn't make much sense.

Meanwhile, in the "has almost nothing to do with the entire rest of Smallville plotlines" story, Lana goes Jason-hunting at the university. Jason eventually reveals he doesn't think she's ready for "that kind of relationship." Lana says, "like WHAT?" Huh? Whatever could you be talking about, dearest Jason? He looks pained, like he has to tell his little sister about the birds and the bees. Jason says, "Can we not talk about this right now? I don't want... [to have to actually say sex on television and certainly not on a college campus where that's all anyone talks about]" Not so coincidentally, Lana is wearing a big white overcoat. White, the color of purity. White, the color Lionel wore when he got out of jail and is supposed to be reformed. I didn't do a review of that episode, so there's my costume commentary several weeks later.

Cut to ice rink, where Clark, adorably, is the only person that cannot skate. I guess that wasn't one of those skillz superpowered aliens get. Unless he's just trying to hide that he could totally bust out a triple axel and show up that 10 year old kid skating in the corner, which is my personal interpretation. In either case, it's freakin' adorable, and there is a Cliche!Fall where Alicia lands on him and makes a joke about buns of steel. They're just adorable and it appears that Clark is ready to pick up where they left off. Except, they should probably stop talking about all his many superpowers in the middle of a public ice rink-- not that anyone would believe them anyway. It matters not, because moment is interrupted by the sight of the creepy Dr. McBride. Interesting choice of names considering the later events of the episode. Bad touches happen when he strokes her hair and tells her he thinks more therapy sessions outside the office would be beneficial. Ick. Alicia is appropriately creeped out.

Alicia then rejoins Clark, who's already finished all his hot chocolate. Alicia asks for reheat, which he does. Clark, little dumb alien, please, none of that in public. Alicia then thinks that her hot chocolate is a bit creamier than before.

They ponder about what to do next; Alicia suggests driving to California. Yes, come visit me! Clark is like, 'Sure!' until she bites her cup seductively and he realizes she's serious. Then he's all, 'Umm, except not' and vetoes that idea, saying he can't. Clark, then, surprisingly perceptive, realizes she only wants to escape and asks if everything is okay. She doesn't really answer and abandons him. Ouch, that's cold, even compared to the air of the ice rink.

Alicia goes hunting for a RedK ring. Don't ask how she knows or why there are still any left and laying around in the Torch office. Don't ask how she got into the school at night or into the Torch office. You'll only make your head hurt, dear readers.

Castle of Lex. Lex fences, and I believe it's the infamous Heike again. If the above continuity frustrates you, here's a nice scene to ease the headache. Lex and Lionel bicker, as usual, and as usual, it's great. Lionel tries to convince Lex that he's reformed and wants to set up charities, and Lex is all, "WTF?"

Alicia surprises Clark in the barn again, very adorably. While she tells him about McBride's nasty intentions for her, there's this shot:



Now, there's going to be a shot I will analyze near the end of the episode, which juxtaposes this one. Right now, Alicia has a tinge of blue light on her face, and Clark has a bit of golden yellow light on his. Alicia is talking about how there's no alternative to running away, while Clark is trying to convince her that they can turn McBride in or think of something else. Alicia is essentially hopeless, but Clark still has some hope left, and the lighting on their faces reflects this. They're also in a two-shot, so you can see this on them both at the same time.

Alicia pretends to give up on convincing him, then offers him a present she claims to have made at Belle Reve. While Lex chose painting for his arts and crafts hour, she practiced jewelry making. Warning bells don't go off in Clark's head when she insists he wears it right then and there, and he also doesn't notice that half of the beads are red rocks. Honestly, Clark. Be a little more suspicious of red things now, since it's not the first time someone's slipped you some RedK.



This is also by far the creepiest RedK transition we've seen on Smallville. He's right in the middle of the frame, looking down on us, and his eyes glow red. That's scary!!

Next scene: Chloe wonders why Lana ditched class. Lana says she went to see Jason. Are there no repercussions for all the classes that Lana misses? That's crazy. If I skipped one class at school I got detention. Not to mention getting in major trouble for leaving campus as well. Chloe and Lana have a whole conversation about "that kind of relationship" without ever specifically mentioning what they're talking about. In fact, neither did I. Am I being terribly cryptic as well? Lana panics because everybody assumes they've been having mad, passionate 'that kind of relationships' all summer alone together in Paris. Chloe is like, well duh. And yes, I'd also like to reiterate that as well. DUH.

Lana now thinks she's ready. Chloe, thankfully, steps in and tells her that she's being an idiot to think that having sex (oh, I said that word!!) will bring Jason back. Then Chloe admits she had a summer fling, which we also all suspected, especially since Isobel skipped right over testing Chloe's hair in "Spell." It's clear now that this was done intentionally, so that Chloe's lack-of-virginity would be a surprise in this episode. While I don't think it's unrealistic for Chloe to have had this fling, not in the least, I do hate that it was only revealed to us when it serves to juxtapose her and Lana and make Lana look better. Now, why do I think this? Well, we have previously learned that Chloe's mom is in a mental institution, and Chloe was afraid it was hereditary. I believe this is a plant for later in the season, and that Chloe will 'go insane.' What does this have to do with her having sex? Well, the girl that has sex in the horror movies always dies or has something horrible happen to them. So I'm very much afraid that this revelation is only another nail in Chloe's coffin. I think I might cry if something so terrible happens to her character.

I also find it hard to believe that Lana and Jason could have been together for 6 months-ish and the subject of having sex never came up, so much so that Lana is shocked when she realizes that Jason was even thinking about it. I mean, there's naive, and then there's Lana Lang. That's pretty ridiculous. This scene, was, however, very nicely played by Allison Mack and Kristen Kreuk.

And not speaking of that which shalt not be named, RedK!Clark and Alicia are getting close to it on his couch. Alicia says she wants "this to last forever" and Clark responds with, "I'm not sure that's one of my abilities, but I'll do my best." Ha! Yes, that is definitely not within teenage boy's ability, apparently alien or not. She then stops him and confesses she's still a virgin and Clark, rather forcefully, says, "That's great! So am I!" It's a bit scary, how happy he is to hear that.

Alicia, however, still wants to make sure that this won't be a one night stand and asks if she's his girlfriend. Clark answers by proposing to her. LaT has a fine theory where she says that RedK not only lowers Clark's inhibitions, but also amplifies whatever emotion Clark is feeling at the time. She discussed how Clark feels a heightened sense of loneliness in this episode. I agree with her interpretation of this, and it's for this reason that I don't think Clark's marriage proposal was intended to only 'make it okay' for he and Alicia to have sex, I think he truly honestly wanted to be with her forever. I don't think the intention here was that Clark would only have sex if he was married; in fact, I believe that the RedK had Clark well on the way to going through with it before Alicia prompted him about what it would make their status. This isn't to say that I think he was lying to her to give her a false sense of security, I truly believe that Clark, even without RedK, would marry her... (hush comic fans! I know about Lois!) Maybe not right now, but if they were together for awhile. The RedK just hurried up that emotional process.

And with that, Clark snaps off her bracelet, and a flash of green tells us they've teleported to Vegas!

The wedding itself is very humorous; Clark being very eager to end the ceremony. I never thought I'd hear Clark say, "Hell yes." Such language!! Oh my ears. Clark superspeeds out, leaving the chapel minister and organ player dumbfounded.

Turns out, Clark and Alicia broke into Siegfried and Roy's bedroom. It's got tigers and leopard print everywhere! Alicia acts 12 and bounces around, shrieking, and Clark is just ready to get down to business.

Cut to Lana, lighting candles and wearing what I assume is one of Jason's shirts, except that it's buttoned all the way to the top of her neck. Nothing screams 'take me now' like fully buttoned shirts.

Jason, indeed, is not seduced and refuses. What a gentleman. In reality, Jason is upset that his mom seemed to have set them up, and so Lana doesn't actually have to go through with her idiotic plan of having sex with Jason to try and win him back.

And.... back to the leopard wedding suite. Despite myself, I actually found this scene slightly boring. All the foreplay was funny and cute, but looked extremely fake and staged, and Alicia had like, 3 things to be able to tear off without being naked. I was actually more concerned about Alicia's torn, likely expensive wedding dress than anything else... except, maybe, that hip thing Welling did. Did you hear that sound? That was a million fangirls falling over dead.

Alicia then takes off the necklace... her intentions are well and good, but Alicia... did you really think Clark wasn't gonna get upset? It was a bit foolish, but ultimately smart, since having sex with someone under the influence is date rape. She may be evil, but not that evil.

Clark, understandably, is horrified, and asks how she knew. Apparently you can research everything about him from Belle Reve. I don't exactly buy it... but hey, I love this episode. I forgive all contrivances.

Back at the Kent farm, Clark gets a visit from the creepy doctor. He of course, tells all, including about how he researched Clark, though Clark doesn't really need to know that to be able to find Alicia for him. Nor does it explain the RedK, since I doubt that's in the sheriff files. McBride tells him they don't send kids like Clark to jail, they send them to him at Belle Reve. Or, you could send him to me, and... sorry, review? Right.

McBride shoots Clark, but Alicia teleports in front of him and takes the bullet. Pointless you say? Oh no! It was to protect his secret, just like she promised. Awww. I love that, cheesy as it is? I truly love it.

But then Clark throws McBride through the barn wall, so she took the bullet for you for nothing, dumbass! Let's hope that concussion brings about memory loss for him. Alicia then reminds Clark that a hospital would be well in order right now, but Clark insists on talking. Run, Clark! Honestly. Talk later.

Clark goes and visits her at the hospital later, and it's adorable and sad at the same time as they conclude that there's really no chance of them ever working out. Clark tells her that drugging him doesn't exactly preserve a relationship. But it does, however, make a great plotline for a television episode!

Next up, more Luthor drama. And here's the shot comparison I spoke of earlier:



Both shots have a fairly extreme close-up of Clark and Lex respectively, in the foreground, and the person they don't trust in the background. They both have unusual composition and parallel each other at the beginning and end of the episodes. I also think they're nice because I think it puts the show back to where the good stories are-- the story of Clark and the story of Lex, and it shows, rather literally, what both of them are going through right now.

The Lex and Lionel scene is a great one. So many nice little touches from both actors.

And, then Mama Kent comes down the stairs and lays the smackdown on Clark. I had issues with this scene. At first I was appalled at her yelling at him, because he was nearly essentially raped after all, and he starts crying and she doesn't even comfort him. It's very un-Kent-like. Then I decided that Clark did deserve a stern talking to, but Martha's argument was misplaced. She basically yells at Clark for getting married on a whim, despite that they taught him not to take marriage lightly. That's all good, except, Clark never would have gone off and married Alicia if she hadn't 'drugged him.' It was never Clark's intention to take marriage lightly. What Martha should have yelled at him for was trusting Alicia in the first place, because that's what they had warned him not to do earlier. Clark started a relationship with her before he was drugged, so that's what they should hold him accountable for, not for running off and marrying her. Again, the scene is very well acted. The tears kill me.

Cut to Clark, brooding in his loft again. Although this isn't an extraordinary circumstance for him, I like that he's doing it again at the end of the episode as well as the beginning. It shows that, despite everything he's gone through the past few days, he's still back where he started, still alone. He'll be battling that for quite some time, if not forever.

Fashes asked me to analyze two shots from this scene, so here goes:



I mentioned earlier the shot where Alicia had the blue light on her face and Clark had the yellow light... now Clark up in the loft had blue-tinted light, and there's fair amount of dark shadows and below him, Alicia is bathed in golden sunlight. Despite what she's done, Alicia seems to have hope for the future, and Clark seems to be more convinced than ever that he will always be alone. This is the opposite of what their moods were in the shot earlier on, and the lighting now reflects that change.

Additionally, in Alicia's shot, the angle is slightly canted, off-axis. This kind of angle is for shady people, but the lighting is bright and isn't ominous... if you assume that it's from Clark's POV, I take it to mean that although Clark knows he can't trust her, he still likes her despite himself, and has forgiven her.

Indeed, I like that he forgives her and offers comfort to her, even though perhaps logically he shouldn't. I think it goes to prove that Clark is still an overall nice guy, despite everything she's done to him.

The end.

I love this episode. I brought up a lot of nitpicks and issues... but overall, Clark and Alicia are really fun and enjoyable characters together, angst or no angst. My love for Clark and Alicia knows no bounds.

And the number of times the word "sex" was used in this whole episode about having sex? Zero. Last time I checked, that word isn't on the network censor list. Yay euphemisms and verbal ellipses! But, at the very least, since Clark didn't actually do it, he can't go crying to his mommy about the mistake he made like Jack did on Jack & Bobby. Poor, poor pretty WB characters. They just can't get laid with peace of mind.

Note: The views of Tigress35 don't necessarily represent the thoughts and feelings of everyone at KryptonSite.

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