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Starting a tradition, issue #103 of the Krypton Club Newsletter was the first-ever April Fool's Issue with reviews of an episode that does not exist and a few newsbits that also proved to be false.

April Fool's issues followed every year after that except for 1998, when there was no April Fool's issue done.

Surgeon General's Warning: The Contents Of This Issue Of The Krypton Club Newsletter Are All Made In Jest And Are Not To Be Taken Seriously. Pregnant Women, Those With A Past Medical History, And People Over 60 Years Of Age May Want To Consult A Physician Before Reading... Just Be Sure The Physician Is Not A Scumbag Who Will Make You Believe That You Are In Love With Him.

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KRYPTON CLUB NEWSLETTER***ISSUE #103***APRIL 1, 1996
**THE NEWSLETTER OF THE LOIS & CLARK KRYPTON CLUB**
"AND HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL?" (APRIL FOOL'S ISSUE)
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INDEX TO KRYPTON CLUB NEWSLETTER #103
Since this is e-mail, these things aren't really separated into pages, but this is at least the order in which you will be seeing things in this April Fool's issue of the Krypton Club Newsletter.....

1: MICHAEL LANDES RETURNS!
Whalin is out and Landes is back in for Season 4 of "L&C"
2: KRYPTON CLUB REVIEWS OF "PRANKS FOR THE MEMORIES"
A review of Sunday night's "episode"!
3: "L&C" SIGHTINGS!
Teri on the new "Love Boat" reunion; Justin Whalin does "Serial Mom 2"
4: TODAY'S "L&C" TOP TEN LIST!
The top ten things Superman would do when he's drunk, by Baragon!
5: KRYPTON CLUB PROFILES: TEMPUS
Meet the only time traveller currently belonging to the Krypton Club!
6: THE KRYPTON CLUB BULLETIN BOARD!
Got some L&C stuff to trade? Is there something you are looking
for? Check out this section, and maybe you'll find what you want!
7: THE UNNAMED LETTERS COLUMN
Commentary and questions from the readers of the KC Newsletter!
8: TODAY'S "L&C" TRIVIA
L&C brain teasers!
9: NEXT ISSUE....
What to look forward to in our next issue!
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MICHAEL LANDES TO PLAY JIMMY OLSEN FOR THE 1996-1997 SEASON!
By Wally and Linda West

It has been announced that Justin Whalin is out as Jimmy Olsen, and Michael Landes is back in for the fourth and presumed final season of "Lois & Clark" this fall.

Whalin, 21, was accused of looking too much like Dean Cain, so he got the boot. The producers thought "Who else would be believable as Jimmy?" so they brought in the fondly-remembered first Jimmy, Michael Landes.

This has come as a shock to many of the FOLCs, especially online, who got used to Justin as Jimmy and will be very sorry to see him go. "It may have taken me a while, but after Jimmy's 'And you took my hand and said...' line in 'Just Say Noah,' Justin completely redeemed himself," a fan club president was quoted as saying. Another reviewer for the same very well-done fan newsletter will be upset to see Justin go. "First I lose my cheese, and now Justin leaves... if Dean Cain leaves the show I will never watch again!" she was quoted as saying.

Landes will return to the show with the premiere episode of the fourth season, "The Return of Spencer Spencer." The cast change, like the replacement at the beginning of Season 2, will go unmentioned, and new fans of the show will have to get used to Landes after being so familiar with Justin for the past two years. Other plans for season 4 include the return of Elizabeth Barondes playing Lucy again, Phyllis Coates replacing Beverly Garland as Ellen Lane, and Denis Arndt replacing Harve Presnell as Sam Lane.
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KRYPTON CLUB REVIEWS OF "PRANKS FOR THE MEMORIES"
Welcome to this edition of the Krypton Club Newsletter, and Happy April Fool's! In spirit of the day, we bring you our thoughts on an all-new "episode" of Lois & Clark... at least, that's what you're supposed to believe. In reality, Tempus has taken over the minds of the rest of you, bringing you back in time to before the episode ever actually aired. That's why you can't remember it. Fortunately for you, two of the Krypton Club's reviewers, Craig and Jenn, weren't affected by this time travel (Tempus decided to be cruel to Matt), so what can we say but... Enjoy!
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TAKE ME TO VEGAS... NOW!
by Jenn Farwell

The return of the *return* of the Prankster... and Miranda from PML? Cat Grant comes back, and gets engaged to Dan Scardino? Alice White, seeking therapy from Dr. Friskin? Jimmy and Perry, new heroes of the day? Lois and Clark, sneaking of to Las Vegas to elope?! And what's with that "heyba heyba" music? "A special night and time for a special Lois & Clark!" Well, it certainly was! This all-new episode was a definite must-see that lived up to its name, "Pranks for the Memories".

The episode began in villainous L&C fashion: Mail being delivered by a suspicious mail person, and an innocent character falling into the trap. Or perhaps not-so-innocent. Decked out in minimal-fabric clothing, Cat Grant has just received an invitation to attend the Daily Planet's Annual Anniversary Celebration. Meanwhile, in a different city and apartment, wearing a Hawaiian print wardrobe, Agent Dan Scardino has received an
"assignment" from a new head director to investigate a suspect in coffee-poisoning, in Metropolis. While he's there, he thinks, maybe he'll visit Lois Lane.

And so the plot thickens. Along with celebrating the anniversary of the Planet, Lois is being welcomed back to being her true self. Enjoying herself, she is oblivious to the arrival of Cat and Scardino, and escapes from the newsroom with Clark, heading for his apartment for some "down time". This is where one of my favourite moments from PftM comes in. Miranda, our old friend from PML, still crazed over Lex Luthor's rejection,
comes in and blasts the newsroom with a heavy dose of "Revenge". Suddenly, the place is completely chaotic! Scardino gives the bouquet of flowers meant for Lois to Cat, who immediately throws them aside and drags him into the supply closet. Jimmy starts scoping out a copy girl, while Perry is yelling for Rehalia. The whole time, the sounds of the familiar "Heyba Heyba" song can be heard, and the place is a party! A masked figure in the background whips off his mask in anger. It is the Prankster, who is mad that Miranda has foiled his plans to get Dan with Lois and Cat with Clark. To keep her from causing more trouble, he kidnaps her. Now, you may be wondering, why isn't Clark doing anything to control this mess? Surely his super-hearing would have kicked in? Well, things are getting pretty heavy at his apartment, and it becoming difficult for him to continue being a patient man. Finally, unable to be patient with him, Lois yells out, "Take me to Vegas... NOW!"

From there on in, the episode gets crazier. A surprise appearance by Dr. Friskin is made when Alice White goes to see her. They speak about Perry, and his Elvis infatuation, which turns out to be the real cause of their breakup. She couldn't stand taking a backseat to The King. Things at the Planet start to settle down, and Perry realizes he must find Miranda. He calls Lois and Clark to see if they would have any ideas as to her whereabouts, only to find that they are not home. Taking Jimmy with him, he sets out on a mission to find her. He finds her earring in an alley, and Jimmy finds a key that reads, "If found, return to 731 Mulberry Lane". They begin to head there, when Perry is paged. It seems his "ordained Minister of the Church of Blue Suede Deliverance" service is needed - Scardino and Cat have decided to get married. Back to the Planet they go.

The wedding goes off pretty much without a hitch, until "Does anyone object?" Suddenly, Jack crashes in, claiming, "I do!" Dan turns around and snaps at him, "Who are you, the pizza boy?" Jack faces him. "I was having an affair with her. Why do you think we left the show? And it's only fair that I tell you, she's seeing this Ace Ventura wannabe, who doesn't know that what goes in a salad does not go on a pizza!"

Perry knows that this will take awhile, so he and Jimmy sneak off to Mulberry Lane. They enter the hideout, and find the Prankster about to kill Miranda. Suddenly, overcome by anger (cos he dislikes the Prankster more than Miranda, and really just wanted a bottle of "Revenge" to win Alice back) he starts pounding the Prankster. Jimmy reminds him to, "Breathe... or something," so he steps back, and looks at the man standing before him. There is a tear in his face. It is a mask! Reaching over, he pulls it off to discover that it is none other than Tempus hiding under there! Tempus
mumbles something about, "well, this disguise was better than glasses," though no one gets what he means. He reveals what his plan was: to separate Lois and Clark so the fate of the world would change, and there would be no Utopia. Everyone just thinks he needs a padded cell. Eventually, the police come, and Perry and Jimmy return to the Planet.

Alice is waiting for him. She exclaims, "I have been looking all over for you!" when suddenly, the phone rings. It is Clark, announcing that he and Lois have eloped. Perry asks, "How have you been doing?" Clark looks at his new wife, waiting for him. He smiles. "Fine..." The episode comes to a close, fading to the screen, "Executive Producer, Deborah Singer Ross-Levine Buckner."

I must say, I loved this episode! It was a perfect blend of humor, and let us see where some of our favourite characters who have been gone from Metropolis for awhile, are at. And it lets us wonder, will Cat and Scardino ever get to tying the knot? And I, for one, definitely appreciated the "Cheese Found, Farwell Celebrates" message! It almost made up for the schedule change! Thanks, TPTB. Except for the COTOC-esque mask wearing of Tempus, "Pranks for the Memories" was fantastic. I give it a well-deserved
A!
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A *GOOD* EPISODE FEATURING THE PRANKSTER?!?!
By Craig Byrne (CraigByrne@aol.com)

I didn't know there was such a thing... a *good* episode featuring the Prankster??!? Even if it turned out not to be him at the end, "Pranks for the Memories" was a long-overdue episode that finally told us what was happening with our old favorites. It also gave Perry and Jimmy a chance to quit being "supporting characters in some TV show about 'Lois & Clark'!" (it's about time!!!), and we can assume that Clark will not have to be "patient" much longer, considering the REAL Lois and Clark are now married.

I've been whining and complaining to bring such characters as Cat Grant, Dan Scardino, and Jack back ever since the Krypton Club started last May. Apparently, TPTB were listening, 'cause this episode was just what I was asking for! And best of all... one of the villains from one of the BEST episodes in "L&C" history... "Miranda" from "Pheremone, My Lovely," was back, wanting to get revenge for the horrible things that have happened to Lex in the past season or two.

Perry's line "I wish you the best of luck, and that you can get your tush to push... aww, I forgot my [bleep]ing line!" was hilarious! I'm surprised they let that one stay in; but they DID bleep it which was a good thing =^) Jack's "Ace Ventura wannabe" comment was great, and it was funny to hear why they left the show <G>. And finally, a reunion for Perry and Alice... and we got to SEE her! Marion Ross (of "Happy Days" fame) did a wonderful job appearing as Perry's wife (I still can't believe they showed her in the end!) and I hope to see more of her in the future. The part where "The Prankster" was revealed as Tempus and revealed his plan was excellent as well... of course, what episode with Tempus ISN'T excellent?

And the electronic message board strikes again... am I the only one that noticed the "Cheese Found, Farwell Celebrates" message? I wonder if they're going to make that a weekly ritual....

The ending was great, now we're sure Lois and Clark are going to cross the "intimacy threshhold" (off camera, of course <G>)... I am very glad that they waited to get married before they did it, even though I don't think they could have waited any longer! Maybe that's why they were in such a rush to get to Vegas!

Another interesting point I noticed... Dr. Friskin appeared on last night's episode of "Lois & Clark"... does this mean "Murder One" is cancelled and Barbara Bosson is going back to the best character she ever played? Guess we'll have to find out when "It's A Small World" airs on April 28! Anyway, it was great seeing all of the characters again... I'd have to give this one an A.
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L&C SIGHTINGS
Teri Hatcher will reprise her role as Amy the Mermaid on the "The Love Boat: Gopher's Quest" TV-movie next Sunday night on CBS. One scene will feature "Amy" singing "I've Got A Crush On You," which is somewhat ironic considering she sang that song in the first season "L&C" episode of the same name.
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Justin Whalin is set to appear in the Fall 1996 film "Serial Mom 2: Justin's Back!" As you may remember, Justin's character was blowtorched at the end of the first "Mom," but now he is back from the dead with a vengeance!
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Olivia "Star" Brown was spotted on Dionne Warwick's latest "Psychic Readers Network" infomercial.
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TODAY'S "L&C" TOP TEN LIST! By Baragon
Here they are, the top ten things Superman might do if he was drunk...

#10. Burps a lot & accidently starts an earthquake
#9. Takes apprehended criminals & deposits them on Gilligan's Isle
#8. Juggles nuclear warheads in downtown Metropolis
#7. Claims it's not alcohol, just a medicine he's on
#6. Goes into spin to turn into Superman, loses balance, smashes furniture then rams through a wall
#5. Goes to Planet as CK & claims he's "Sooperman"
#4. Is sitting in bar, hears cries for help, rushes to leave, smashing through the door, & a few cars. Inadvertently passes person in need, returns to get them, picks them up & flies off, accidently dropping them 2 or 3 times.
#3. Plays around with shuttle in orbit. Flies it around the solar system, freaking out the astronauts inside. When it's tequila that he had too much of, he also does this with airplanes.
#2. Will take people he rescued & drop them from really high altitudes & catch them just before they hit the ground.

And here it is, the #1 might Superman would do if he was drunk....
Flies around naked & doesn't notice. Chooses this time (pre-revelation) to confess his true identity to Lois, as well as his love for her. Suddenly passes out in her apartment, smashing a hole that's an outline of himself through the next 5 floors. Later claims it was actually "Vatman".

We still need some more top ten lists! Send them in!
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KRYPTON CLUB PROFILES: TEMPUS
Tempus was born in the far future, where he met H.G. "Herb" Wells and decided to cause a little trouble by going back in time to kill the baby Superman. Luckily, Lois and Clark stopped him, but that didn't keep him from sending Lois to an alternate dimension a year later. Tempus was kind enough to send us a profile from his prison in the alternate dimension... here it is!

REAL NAME: Tempus (*duh*)
E-MAIL ADDRESS: Unlisted... duh!
ONLINE NICKNAMES: I only let my friends call me by nicknames, not you, duh!
BIRTHDAY: May 12th, 2017... duh!
RESIDENCE: Utopia... duh!
OCCUPATION: Time traveler bent on world conquest and preventing Utopia... duh!
"L&C" FAVORITES (LIMIT 1 PER CATEGORY)
....QUOTE: "Hello? Duh! Clark Kent is Superman!"
....EPISODE: Tempus Fugitive (Duh... I actually got to meet the most galactically stupid woman who ever lived!)
....GUEST STAR or VILLAIN: Myself... duh!
....SCENE: Lois on a ledge... it's good T.V.... duh!
NON-"L&C" FAVORITES (LIMIT 2 PER CATEGORY)
....HOBBIES: Hanging out with Herb and scaring innocent children... duh!
....MOVIES: "Back to the Future" and "Timecop"... duh!
....TV SHOWS: "Full House," because of Michelle's constant use of "Duh"... smart
character. I also enjoy watching "The Crew"... but it was cancelled... duh!
....MUSIC/MUSICIANS: Lenny Stoke, and his hit single, "Wall of Sound"... duh!
....BOOKS: 1984 and the Time Machine (Herb's book)... duh!
GOALS IN LIFE (LIMIT 3): To be on more episodes, to rule the world, and prevent utopia... duh!

Please e-mail your profiles our way. If there's anything else you'd like people to know that you'd like to share with 1600 other FOLCs, be sure to include that separately! Please return the profiles in this same format... even if you are a super-villain... thanks!
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Today's quote came from "Individual Responsibility." It was also used in "Pranks for the Memories" during Dr. Friskin and Alice's conversation.
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TODAY'S TRIVIA!!!
Here is "L&C" trivia question for today.....

Larry Poindexter (Dr. Deter, the biggest fool of them all) appeared on what early Fox sitcom?

The answer to issue #102's trivia: Bronson Pinchot appeared in "The Prankster" and "The Return of the Prankster," and had a cameo appearance in "Super Mann." Pinchot also reprised the role in "Pranks for the Memories," but since none of you remember that episode <G>, we won't mention that one.
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SEE YOU LATER!
If you believed anything that was printed in this newsletter, then... APRIL FOOL'S!!!! There is no such episode as "Pranks for the Memories," Teri Hatcher will NOT be appearing on a Love Boat reunion, Michael Landes is NOT coming back... we just decided to have a little bit of fun =^) Look for a NORMAL issue with REAL sightings & stuff later this week... hopefully this issue didn't turn any of you off, it 's all meant in fun!

Craig "Gairc Enryb" Byrne
President of the L&C Krypton Club

Matt "Ttam Sebmoc" Combes
Vice President of the L&C Krypton Club

(with Jenn "Klptzyxm" Farwell, conspirator in crime!)

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